Storyteller: Alas, the viewer shall come on the holiday. Not one creature, one bird, one pig was stirring…
Minion Pigs drop egg stealing equipment, grumble and start to pick it up.
Storyteller: Okay, now forget all in haste, for the pigs will collect their holiday grace. But the birds here, so snuggled. All warm, cuddly and huddled…
Blue Jay: Whah?
Red: I need you to put this warm, cuddly jacket on the eggs. It’s freezing! Chuck, you should get an umbrella. The eggs won’t sprinkle warmth on their own!
Minion Pig from the bush: They also don’t sprinkle their own salt…
Red: Finally. A holiday where nobody screws anything- Terrence, a fireplace is not a couch. No, I will not spray some ice on your rear end. You, you- go do that yourself.
Scene changes to PigMart where Pigs everywhere are shopping.
Storyteller: For the pigs, they had some holiday jig. They were festive, they were testive, and also, I’m not even sure testive is a word. Is it? Because I can’t rhyme very well.
King Pig: More candy! More presents!
From Faraway View of Piggy Island: MORE GRUB!
Minion Pig With Platter of Food: Here we go again!
Dumps food into King Pig’s mouth.
King Pig: Ahh, food. Hey, I’m not tasting eggs. Why no eggs, Professor?
Professor Pig: Well, heavens. Heist Number 241 has immediately shut down for unknown causes! Although I kinda think it’s obvious.
Chef Pig: If I don’t cook eggs in time, then this book will be useless! Pulls out Bad Piggies Cookbook
Chronicler Pig: And if I don’t get some good grub, there’s no way I’m frying that convict you hate tomorrow!
King Pig: No problem! I am thinking of a wonderful solution.
Chef Pig: How about we design a parody fit for something?
King Pig: Shuddup! I’m thinking…
Scene changes to King Pig overlooking balcony
King Pig: Pigs of Pig City! I have a parody I designed myself to fit for something!
Chef Pig grumbles something to King Pig.
Scene Changes to The Flock and the Eggs
Red: Well, I suppose we all learned our lesson. Terrence, fire is hurties. Matilda, slugs and snails are not a good source of protein for us. Bomb, looking at Terrence’s rear end while he’s on fire isn’t a good idea. Chuck, no you are not Santa Claus. The Blues, Santa isn’t real. Stella, no, I am not buying you a Papple Phone again for the millionth time just because you broke it. As for the rest of you, I’m pretty sure you did something bad.
Blue Jay: You stink! No wonder you don’t get presents on Christmas!
Red: No offense, but doesn’t it strike you that Santa breaks into your house, dumping stuff you’re not even suspicious of?
Red is thrown into the ocean.
Red: You’ll pay for this!
Blue Jay: We don’t have enough money!
Red: Are you really that stupid?
Blue Jay: Oh look, shark!
Blue Jay: Just kidding. Now you’re too far to swim back.
Red: I’ll show you! Urh, umm.. can somebody toss me a floatie?
Bomb: No can do.
Matilda: Have a safe trip!
Hal: Don’t let the creepy sea creatures bite!
Stella: And along the way, could you stop at a papple store?
Red: This isn’t the purpose!
Scene changes to a sleigh where King Pig, where he is dressed up as the Grinch, Chef Pig is the Cat In The Hat, and Professor Pig is the Lorax.
Chef Pig: See? We were pretty good with the parody.
Professor Pig: Oh my gosh! We are extremely close!
Storyteller: Mmrm... That was good pizza. Oh, hmm? Oh right, sorry for not talking a long time. Anyways, Chef, King, and Smarts were heading for the eggs… once and for all! But with Red not there… what will be of the eggs? Sorry, that’s kinda repetitive.
Chef Pig: All we have to do is get past Red…
Sees nest with eggs, no birds are guarding it.
Chef Pig: IT’S A TRAP!
Professor Pig: We don’t need that many parodies. Plus, the Star Wars Prequels sucked.
King Pig: You got that right.
Chef Pig: And now Disney owns it!
King Pig and Professor Pig: Mmm… Hrmm!
Chef Pig grabs net, and then puts eggs in.
Storyteller: The pigs so rotten had the eggs so forgotten; will the Birds be in haste? For their angry feels and tastes? Whom the pigs will raise and the birds ignore, how will anyone ever be bore?
Scene Changes to Pig City Balcony
King Pig, Chef Pig, Professor Pig walk up
King Pig: We have returned!
Minion Pig: Finally! We can operate our orchestra!
Minion Pig starts leading concert of pigs.
Concert of Pigs: Joy to the world, we have the eggs. We will, barbecue, the dead! Perhaps we ought to sprinkle salt, or boil or poach the dairy stuff where it will sizzle, sizzle! Where it will sizzle, sizzle! For all Eggs! Will sizzle when we go around!
Minion Pig: Next Song!
Concert of Pigs : Jingle Pigs, Jingle Pigs, Jingle all the way!
While song is sung, King Pig, Chef Pig, and Professor Pig look at each other and walk away.
Scene changes to Red finally reaching to the bird’s nest.
Red: Ugh! Finally. Now, the eggs are safe and… AHH!
Sees empty nest, and runs for pig city.
Red goes through wood door next to the giant metal one, and smashes through the entire front row of buildings.
Scene changes to gigantic frying pan.
King Pig: One shall be hardboiled, one will be fried, and one will be scrambled!
Minion Pigs: Hooray!
Scene changes to Red reaching to the frying pan.
Knocks the first egg that was dropped midair to the side.
King Pig: Interception! GAURDS!
Corporal Pig: I’m going to eat some chicken!
Red: I’m a cardinal, no need for the racism.
Corporal Pig: Whutever!
Foreman Pig: Then I guess we’ll learn what cardinal tastes like.
Suddenly, Matilda shoots from the sky and crushes Foreman Pig.
Foreman Pig: Ooh! This isn’t how I pictured the first time a lady sat on me…
Matilda: Eat THIS chicken feathered brain!
Red: Uh, not a really good insult.
Notifies Matilda of the circle of pigs around them.
Red: Well, we’re like one of the main characters, right? Nothing bad is going to happen.
Scene changes to where Matilda and Red are being lowered into a boiling cauldron.
Matilda: You freakin jinxer!
Red: Hey, I had no idea. Oh look, the Blues! They’ll save us!
Scene changes to a large cage where all the birds are imprisoned, and a trap door is underneath them.
Bomb: This is an even more stupid rescue mission than Return of the Jedi!
Blue Jim: You said it!
Blue Jake: I agree.
Hal: I think Return of the Jedi was an even worse rescue mission than this one.
Stella: Yeah, I agree with Hal.
Chuck: Nah, Return of the Jedi was awful.
Bomb: You know, this is a quality discussion.
Suddenly, trap door is opened and birds are dropped into a pit.
All Birds But Terrence: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Lands on Fat Pig, but lands so hard fat pig shoots out, and tumbles over like a boulder on pig city.
Blue Jay: Oh hey, they were stupid enough to leave an opening!
Red: Let’s try not to fight again.
(Rovio’s Angry Birds Peace Song starts to play)
Storyteller: The birds once united, are happy once more. For Christmas is time for cheer and galore.
The End sign fades into screen, episode ends.
Credits: (shown after, Angry Birds Peace Song is Still Playing.
THIS IS FANON. ALL CHARACTERS AND PEACE SONG ARE TRADEMARKS OF ROVIO.
The Minion Pigs
Writer: The Boomerang
Animator: Peter The Lazer Bird
WE AT THE CLUB WIKI WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS
Scene changes to Mighty Eagle Cave, but there is a fire so Mighty Eagle can be seen.
Mighty Eagle: And who’d you assume was the storyteller all this time? Me, of course. The story of birds, so wonderfully given, by the festive eagle, so lonely and forgotten.
Scene changes to 3 minion pigs in santa hats, and one pulls out a marker and writes, 12/25/13. Then another one writes, "End of the world!" Then, the third one writes, "just kidding."
Credits (even deeper more)
Animated with Flash CS6
angrybirdsclub.wikia.com to see fanon.
(shows the Blues riding down sled)
To buy official angry birds merchandice, go to angrybirds.com